How to Use Your Enemies Read online

  Don’t entrust your reputation to another without having their honour as security. Keeping silent should be to each other’s advantage; speaking out to each other’s detriment. Where honour is concerned, dealings must cut both ways, so that each looks after the other’s reputation. You should never trust anyone; and if on occasion you have to, do so with such skill that you encourage caution even more than prudence. The risk should be equal and the matter mutual, so that someone who says they’re your partner doesn’t turn witness against you.

  Know how to ask. There’s nothing more difficult for some, or more easy for others. There are some who don’t know how to refuse; with such people, no picklock is necessary. There are others whose first word on every occasion is ‘no’; with these people, you need real skill. And with everyone, the right moment: catch them when they’re in good spirits, when their bodies or their minds are satisfied. Unless the listener’s careful attention detects the petitioner’s subtlety, then happy days are the days when favours are granted, for inner happiness streams outwards. Don’t go near when you see someone else has been refused, for any fear of saying ‘no’ will have vanished. There’s no good time when people are down. Placing someone under an obligation beforehand is a good bill of exchange, unless you’re dealing with someone base.

  Grant something as a favour before it has to be given as a reward. This is a skill of great politicians. Granting favours before they are merited is proof of an honourable person. A favour in advance is doubly excellent: the speed of the giver places the recipient under a greater obligation. A gift given afterwards is due payment; the same beforehand becomes an obligation. This is a subtle way of transforming obligations, for what was for the superior an obligation to reward becomes for the recipient an obligation to repay. This is the case with honourable people. With base individuals, a reward paid early is more of a bit than a spur.

  Know how to appear the fool. The wisest sometimes play this card, and there are times when the greatest knowledge consists in appearing to lack knowledge. You mustn’t be ignorant, just feign ignorance. With fools, being wise counts for little, and similarly with madmen, being sane: you need to talk to everyone in their own language. The person who feigns stupidity isn’t a fool, just the person who suffers from it. Whilst real stupidity is just simple, feigned stupidity isn’t, for genuine artifice is involved here. The only way to be well loved is to put on the skin of the most stupid of animals.

  Take a joke, but don’t make someone the butt of one. The first is a form of politeness; the second, of audacity. Whoever gets annoyed at some fun appears even more like a beast than they actually are. An excellent joke is enjoyable; to know how to take one is a mark of real character. Getting annoyed simply prompts others to poke fun again and again. Know how far to take a joke, and the safest thing is not to start one. The greatest truths have always arisen from jokes. Nothing demands greater care and skill: before making a joke, know just how far someone can take one.

  Don’t be completely dove-like. Let the craftiness of the snake alternate with the simplicity of the dove. There’s nothing easier than deceiving a good person. The person who never lies is more ready to believe, and one who never deceives is more trusting. Being deceived is not always the result of stupidity, but sometimes of simple goodness. Two types of people often foresee danger: those who have learnt from experience, very much to their own cost, and the astute, very much to the cost of others. Let shrewdness be as versed in suspicion as astuteness is in intrigue, and don’t try to be so good that you create opportunities for someone else to be bad. Be a combination of the dove and the serpent; not a monster, but a prodigy.

  Don’t offer an apology to someone who hasn’t asked for one. And even if one is asked for, an over-the-top apology is like an admission of guilt. To apologize before it’s necessary is to accuse yourself, and to be bled when healthy is to attract ill health and ill will. An excuse in advance awakens suspicion. Nor should a sensible person reveal their awareness of someone else’s suspicions – this is to go looking for offence. They should try instead to refute these with the honesty of their actions.

  Know how to do good: in small amounts, and often. An obligation should never be greater than someone’s ability to fulfil it. Whoever gives a great deal is not giving but selling. Gratitude should not be placed in an impossible position; if it is, relations will be broken off. All it takes to lose many people is to place them under too much of an obligation: being unable to fulfil it, they’ll back away, and since they are under it, they’ll end up as enemies. The idol never wants to see before it the sculptor who created it, nor does someone under an obligation want to see their benefactor. The subtle art of giving: it should cost little, but be greatly desired, and hence greatly appreciated.

  Never break off relations, because reputation is always damaged by this. Anyone makes a good enemy, not so a friend; few can do good, but almost everyone harm. The day the eagle broke with the beetle, its nest wasn’t safe even in Jupiter’s bosom. Hidden enemies, who wait for such opportunities, use a declared enemy to stoke the fires for them. Former friends make the worst enemies: they lay the blame for their misplaced esteem on your failings. Those looking on speak as they think and think as they wish, condemning both sides either for lacking foresight at the start of the friendship or for precipitousness at its end, and for lacking good sense in both instances. If a break is necessary, let it be forgivable, done with a cooling of favour, not a violent rage. The saying concerning a graceful retreat is relevant here.

  You will never belong entirely to someone else nor they to you. Neither ties of blood, nor friendship, nor the most pressing obligation are sufficient for this, for there’s a big difference between opening your heart and surrendering your will. Even the greatest intimacy has its limits, and the laws of courtesy are not offended by this. A friend always keeps some secret to himself and a son conceals something from his father. You conceal things from some people that you reveal to others, and vice versa, and by thus distinguishing between people, you end up revealing everything and withholding everything.

  Know how to forget. This is more a matter of luck than skill. The things which should most be forgotten are the ones most remembered. Not only is memory base in failing when it’s most needed, but stupid in turning up when it’s best not to: it’s meticulous with things that cause sorrow, and carefree with those that cause pleasure. Sometimes the remedy for misfortune consists in forgetting it – but we forget the remedy. It’s therefore best to train our memory in good habits, because it can give us happiness or hell. The contented are an exception here, for in their state of innocence they enjoy their simple happiness.

  Silken words, and a mild nature. Arrows pierce the body, but harsh words the soul. A pill can make your breath smell sweet, and to know how to sell air is one of life’s subtlest skills. Most things are bought with words, and they’re enough to achieve the impossible. All our dealings are in air, and the breath of a prince greatly inspires. So your mouth should always be full of sugar to sweeten your words so that they taste good even to your enemies. The only way to be loved is to be sweet-natured.

  Know how to renew your character using nature and art. They say that our nature changes every seven years: let this improve and enhance your taste. After the first seven years we gain the use of reason; let there be a new perfection with each successive period. Observe this natural process to help it along, and expect others to improve as well. Thus many change their behaviour with their status or position, and sometimes this is not noticed until the full extent of such a change is apparent. At twenty, a person is a peacock; at thirty, a lion; at forty, a camel; at fifty, a snake; at sixty, a dog; at seventy, a monkey; and at eighty, nothing.

  Show yourself off. It allows your qualities to shine. Each of these has its moment: seize it, for none can triumph every day. There are splendid individuals in whom the least accomplishment shines greatly and the greatest dazzles, provoking wonder. When display is joined to eminence, it�
��s held to be prodigious. There are showy nations, and the Spanish surpass all in this. Light came first to enable all creation to shine. Display causes great satisfaction, makes good what’s missing, and gives everything a second being, especially when grounded in reality. Heaven, which gives perfection, provides for its display, for one without the other would be unnatural. There’s an art to all display; even what’s truly excellent depends on circumstance and isn’t always opportune. When the time isn’t right, then display misfires. No quality should be less without affectation, and this always causes its downfall, since display is always close to vanity, and vanity to contempt. It should always be restrained so as not to end up being vulgar, and among the wise, excess has always been somewhat disparaged. It often consists in an eloquent silence, in a nonchalant show of perfection, for deft concealment is the most praiseworthy type of display, an apparent lack inciting profound curiosity. It’s a great skill not to reveal perfection in its entirety straight off, but rather gradually to display it. Let one quality be a guarantee of a greater one, and applause for the first, an expectation of those to follow.

  Don’t meddle, and you won’t be spurned. Respect yourself, if you want to be respected. Be sparing rather than lavish with your presence. Arrive when wanted, and you’ll be well received; never come unless called, nor go unless sent. Someone who gets involved on their own initiative receives all the ill-will if they fail, and none of the thanks if they succeed. A meddler is the target of scorn, and since they brazenly interfere, they are discarded ignominiously.

  Live as circumstances demand. Ruling, reasoning, everything must be opportune. Act when you can, for time and tide wait for no one. To live, don’t follow generalizations, except where virtue is concerned, and don’t insist on precise rules for desire, for you’ll have to drink tomorrow the water you shunned today. There are some so outlandishly misguided that they expect all circumstances necessary for success to conform to their own whims, not the reverse. But the wise know that the lodestar of prudence is to behave as circumstances demand.

  To combine esteem and affection is a real blessing. To maintain respect, don’t be greatly loved. Love is more brazen than hate. Fondness and veneration don’t sit well together. You should be neither greatly feared nor greatly loved. Love leads to familiarity, and when this makes its appearance, esteem departs. Be loved with appreciation rather than affection, for such love is a mark of great people.

  Let your natural talents overcome the demands of the job, not the other way round. However great the position, a person must show that they are greater still. Real ability keeps on growing and dazzling with each new situation. Someone who lacks spirit will soon be overwhelmed and will be broken eventually by their duties and reputation. The great Augustus took pride in being a greater man than he was a prince. Nobility of spirit is beneficial here, and even sensible self-confidence.

  Act as though always on view. The insightful man is the one who sees that others see or will see him. He knows that walls have ears, and that what’s badly done is always bursting to come out. Even when alone, he acts as though seen by everyone, knowing that everything will eventually be known. He looks on those who will subsequently hear of his actions as witnesses to them already. The person who wanted everyone to see him wasn’t daunted that others could see into his house from outside.

  Leave people hungry: nectar should only ever brush the lips. Desire is the measure of esteem. Even with physical thirst, good taste’s trick is to stimulate it, not quench it. What’s good, if sparse is twice as good. The second time around, there’s a sharp decline. A surfeit of pleasure is dangerous, for it occasions disdain even towards what’s undisputedly excellent. The only rule in pleasing is to seize upon an appetite already whetted. If you must annoy it, do so through impatient desire rather than wearisome pleasure. Hard-won happiness is twice as enjoyable.

  In a word, a saint, which says it once and for all. Virtue links all perfections and is the centre of all happiness. It makes a person prudent, circumspect, shrewd, sensible, wise, brave, restrained, upright, happy, praiseworthy, a true and comprehensive hero. Three S’s make someone blessed: being saintly, sound and sage. Virtue is the sun of the little world of man and its hemisphere is a clear conscience. It is so fine, it gains the favour of both God and mankind. Nothing is worthy of love but virtue, nor of hate but vice. Virtue alone is real, everything else a mere jest. Ability and greatness must be measured by virtue, not by good fortune. It alone is self-sufficient. Whilst someone is alive, it makes them worthy of love; when dead, of being remembered.

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